Musician
A rather dark account of unrequited desire.
Verse 1
I want you so much, want you so much I can barely keep control,
I need you, oh my God I need to come in you and become whole.
We'd ride a rising tide together, crash upon your inner shore,
Learn to touch your body, baby, maybe learn to touch your soul.
Refrain #1a
And it's alright...
Verse 2
To want you is the darkest torture of the most exquisite kind,
To need you is to lose my soul, my body and my mind
Is broken on a rack of slighted, unrequited, black desire.
To burn for you's a lake of pain and everlasting fire
Refrain #2a
But it's alright, I'll be fine,
Not like I've not been here before, and
I'll keep quiet, make no sign;
The constant spectre at your door
Chorus 1
But just because you don't want me
Doesn't mean
That I'm not yours...
Refrain #1b
And it's alright...
Verse 3
I watch you as you grant your favours innocent and wantonly,
I burn inside and realise you'll never grant them upon me.
I haunt the places you frequent, I breath your dissipating scent,
I hang around you when you drink and hope we'll bed by accident
Refrain #2b
But it's alright, I'll be fine,
Not like I've not been here before, and
I'll keep quiet, make no sign;
The constant spectre at your door
Chorus 2
But just because you don't want me
Doesn't mean
That I'm not yours...
Refrain #1c
And it's alright...
Verse 4
A thousand nights I'll lie and burn, a thousand nights await my turn,
Then wait another thousand still whilst you desport and take your fill
Of every casually offered tryst, yet you spurn my profferred kiss
'Cause nobody could want a dog as hopelessly enslaved as this
Refrain #2c
But it's alright, I'll be fine,
Not like I've not been here before, and
I'll keep quiet, make no sign;
The constant spectre at your door
Chorus 3
But just because you don't want me
Doesn't mean
That I'm not yours...
No...
Verse 5
And when the Earth is gone to dust and blackness takes the sun and stars,
The memory of you will live within the memory of my heart,
And though your soul is gone and risen evermore to dwell in Heaven
A piece of it remains with me in Hell to turn me down forever...
Refrain #2d
But it's alright, I'll be fine,
Not like I've not been here before, and
I'll keep quiet, make no sign;
The constant spectre at your door.
Well,
It's alright, I'll be fine,
Not like I've not been here before, and
I'll keep quiet, make no sign;
The constant spectre at your door.
Chorus 4
But just because you don't want me
Doesn't mean that I'm not yours.
Just because you don't want me
Doesn't mean that I'm not yours.
Refrain #1d
And it's alright.
It's alright.
It's alright.
Outro
And when the Earth has gone to dust and blackness takes the sun and stars
A piece of you will live entombed forever in my bloody heart.
And just because...
Doesn't mean...
Yeah just because...
Doesn't mean...
Refrain #1e
And it's alright.
It's alright.
It's alright.
I think of this as 'The Ick' in song form. :) Our protagonist is creature of pure ID without, mercifully, the self-awareness to try to be dishonest about his rather base envies and intentions.
I've been noodling around with different arrangements for a long time with this one. The song never quite got the reaction from audiences that I felt it deserved -- which, of course, meant that I hadn't yet put in the work that it deserved. Sometime late last year I felt I got it and, FINALLY, audiences seemed to agree -- it seems to be a favourite in the set, now. I also tried for the longest time to replace the first two lines of the first verse, as I thought they were rather on-the-nose, not to say unpleasantly phrased. But nothing else ever really communicated quite how debased the protagonist really is, so on-the-nose and unpleasant it had to be.
To make up for my unsettled feeling about the first couple of lines, the final two lines of verse three are some of my favourite that I ever wrote. They're no less grim, of course. I just really like the faux-romantic setup followed by the guileless statement of sinister intent.
This version was recorded with my friend Webby at his studio at React. It was a couple of quick guitar takes followed by a quick vocal take. Then Webby did his rather amazing producer-magic on it and... Voila! I think this was just a quick-and-dirty mix, for him, but for me it's probably the best sound I've ever had for one of my songs. In fact, I was so impressed that I've started taking recording & production lessons with him. So, hopefully, there will be more and better material from me along any time, now. Aaaannny time...
Oh, and the song's name? I couldn't think of one for the longest time and ended up randomly suggesting stupid titles, one night in the pub. "Girl In A Tree" was one of those and my friend Dan basically dared me to just call it that. So I did. So there.